Creating a Permanent Bond with Your Child

Like every parent, your goals for your child include bringing him or her up as a loving, happy, confident, giving individual who is a part of a close family. As much as parenting is a very natural process, many parents do feel that they need some guidance when it comes to "getting it right".

The truth, though, is that nothing is better than a parents' own instincts. These are feelings that all the books, doctors, and counselors in the world can't teach. From the moment a child is born, that baby has a natural trust for his or her parents, and depends on them for protection and the necessities of life. In return, parents instinctively hold their children close in a protective gesture, and can tell - even without being able to speak to the baby - when something isn't right.

This connection is automatic, but must be maintained throughout the life of the child. The bond is already there, the trick is to prevent distance from getting in the way. In order to be close to your children, you will need to be there for them, and keep up that close and trusting relationship.

How do you do this? The first step is to go with your own instincts to keep things close between yourself and your child. But if you need a few tips to keep yourself more consciously on track, remember the following points:

• Understand the emotional needs of your child, and recognize his or her likes and dislikes.

• Accept that your child is his or her own individual. Don't try to mold your child into your ideal vision of who s/he should be. Love your child for his or her own self.

• Motivate your child to do and be their very best, but keep your goals for your child realistic. Every child has a zone of comfort, and not every child is designed to over-achieve.

• Don't assume that your child will want a given profession when s/he gets older. Yes, you may want a doctor or lawyer for a child, but every individual has his or her own talents and abilities, and it is impractical to try to force them along a line that is outside of their strengths. Allow your child to build and realize his or her own dreams.

• If your child hasn't found his or her path yet, help with the discovery. Expose your child to many different options and experiences, and then nurture the interests that s/he develops.

• Listen to your child, and make yourself available when s/he needs or wants to talk. Fears and doubts can show themselves within the course of a conversation, so make a habit of talking with your child. This may simply mean talking about your day and listening about your child's day, or just having a discussion about what's going on in the world. As long as the lines of communication stay open, comfort and security will remain in the relationship.

• The most important part of keeping a deep relationship with your child is to allow your child to get to know you, and make sure that you know your child as well. Be honest with your child, and you'll find that your child will give you that same gift. Don't be afraid to love your child. It's exactly what s/he needs and wants.